|
DESCRIPTION
|
Date of Birth: |
December 26,
2001 |
Hair: |
Black and
White |
| Place of Birth: |
Alabaster, AL |
Eyes: |
Brown |
| Height: |
|
Build: |
|
| Weight: |
53 pounds |
Sex: |
Female |
| Occupation: |
Neighborhood Watch |
Nationality: |
All American |
| Scars and Marks: |
|
RECORD
Her most recent
crimes include:
1. Impersonating a Border Collie;
2. Trespassing and abuse of kiddy pools;
3. Unnecessarily depositing muddy footprints.
FD - Talladega, FDX - Talladega, FDCh-S – Talladega,
AL,
FDCh-G – Memphis, TN,, FDCH - Charlotte,
FM – Bessemer, AL, TF – Talladega,
AL,
TF-I – Talladega, AL, TF-II –
Talladega, AL, TF-III – Talladega, AL
CAUTION
This assailant
displays total disregard for landscaping and yard beautification
projects. She is the only known animal to have annihilated
every "indestructible" toy in the universe. The Kong
Company called and asked if she would be available for future
research. She also knows how to elude authorities by using
every ounce of her charm. She befriends all species in
order to gain their loyalty and friendship. The victims of
her assaults (spiders, flies, moths, fingers, toes, etc.) have
all suffered much torture and mental anguish from her relentless
pursuits.
[Signed] Emily Harris |
